Strange Company - Chapter 8

Leonard: "Anyways, we should probably get in there before more bandits get the jump on us again."

Conrad: "Sounds like a plan!"

Leonard: "If only. But if we can get more of them to just surrender and run rather than having to kill them, then that's the better option."

Conrad: "I guess so, even though they'd just kill you on the spot if you tried to surrender."

Leonard: "Yes, but we're not them."

Conrad: "Fair point. I don't think they're going to just suddenly become good guys, but hey."

Leonard: "Probably not, but at least they get a chance to redeem themselves."

Conrad: "Right. Just making one thing clear though, I am NOT going to stand in Drake's way if he sees himself angry at someone."

Drake: "Hm?"

Leonard: "Of course, wouldn't expect you to do that either. Anyone with half a brain ought to know that pissing off a draconian is a very bad idea."

Conrad: "Especially when the draconian also has a large steel axe and a pair of super snazzy gauntlets. But I digress, allow me to take point. I've seen enough bolts flying towards you guys, it's about time this gut serves its purpose as padding!"

Alice: "That's an interesting perspective, but thanks."

They followed the nearby trail inside the encampment, and found that it lead inside the nearby hill.

Conrad: "Huh, for once we're actually using the term 'bandit lair' correctly."

Leonard: "Heh, true. But be careful, these are tight quarters."

Conrad: "Of course! Captain Careful is my middle name, after all!"

Alice: "I thought that was Captain Blasterbelly."

Conrad: "That'd be my second middle name, Sister Snarky."

Alice: "Haha, good one! No wonder you're married already."

Conrad: "Oh yes, me and Cath are like birds of a feather. If you miss male company, there's always that guy there."

He gestured towards Leonard, who blushed slightly.

Alice: "I'm... Actually warming up to the thought again, but... I don't think I'm quite ready to settle down yet."

Leonard: "I sure as hell am going to settle down after this. You're welcome to find me whenever you want."

Alice: "You don't really like adventuring, do you?"

Leonard: "Adventuring? Yes. Going out on a bandit killing spree? Not so much. Being stalked by an incredibly dangerous and unstable demon? NO THANK YOU."

Alice: "Oh, right."

They wandered around inside the tunnels for a while. Oddly enough, they didn't meet any bandits.

Conrad: "Now where did everyone go? I doubt all of them died out there."

Leonard: "Yeah, that's a bit weird actually. This is almost too easy."

Conrad: "And that's typically a bad sign."

Leonard: "Yes, it is. I don't like this, at all."

Alice: "We have to continue though, otherwise we'll never get to Erstrom."

Leonard: "Hrm, true."

They continued through the tunnels, going down a few flights of stairs, but still didn't encounter anyone. Leonard was deeply unnerved by this, because it spelled out TRAP in great glowing letters to his mind. But there was only two ways to go; onwards and backwards. They passed a few deserted storage rooms, and even a crude dormitory with empty beds. But suddenly, the tunnel led directly to a door.

Conrad: "OKAY, this can't be good. Weapons at ready, I think there's trouble behind this."

Leonard and the others readied their respective weapons. Conrad nodded, and slowly opened the door. Inside was a large, square room with a surprisingly high ceiling, which was only very dimly lit.

Conrad: "Hey bandits, drop your weapons and you'll get out of this alive!"

Nobody responded.

Conrad: "I guess it's just some kind of hub. Let's go in, but stay close."

As they all got through the door, it slammed shut behind them, leaving them in the darkness. However, the room was very suddenly lit up, not at all like torches lighting up would do. The room was covered in gray plate metal, and overhanging rooms were lining the ceiling. Out of the blue, a malicious voice was heard.

Voice: "Ah, Leonard Corbinson and company, finally gracing us with their presence!"

Leonard: "Who are you, and how do you know me?"

Voice: "Me? I'm the guy who will be your undoing. How I know you is a nice little secret that none of you know about."

Conrad: "He means word of mouth. Super high-tech, dude!"

Voice: "Shut up, I don't think you know exactly how screwed you are right now."

Conrad: "Tell me something new. All of you uppity bandits are all like "oh boy, you sure are in trouble now, you just don't know it yet!" and it's kind of silly."

Voice: "You insolent little-"

Conrad: "Yarp yarp yarp. If I were to replace one sentence of yours with those three words, they'd compose half of your spoken language."

Leonard: "Conrad!"

Conrad: "What? It's not like he isn't gonna try killing us anyways."

He put on a mocking tone of voice.

Conrad: "Oh no, the big bad man is going to personally kill us by sending his goons after us! Oh wait."

The voice was almost audibly fuming with anger.

Conrad: "What's wrong, big man? Never had your "prey" mouthing YOU off? That's too bad, because I shall keep taunting you. Sitting somewhere we don't know, hidden faaaaaaar away from us puny good guys and letting your underpaid subordinates do all the dirty work. Sure feels good to be a powerful bandit leader, huh?"

A loud thump was heard from the same direction as the voice; that is, everywhere.

Voice: "SHUT UP!"

Conrad: "Or what, you'll throw a hissy fit? I can't believe those goons of yours even bother working with such a hotheaded baby."

Voice: "They work for me because I am the STRONGEST!"

Conrad: "Strongest? Oh please, there's two of us down here willing to test that claim. One of them's a draconian, and he's both calmer and prettier than you'll ever be."

Voice: "THAT DOES IT! Men, soften those punks up, I'm coming down, and there will be HELL to pay!"

Conrad: "Oooh that scares me so badly."

Some angry grumbling was heard, followed by footsteps going further and further away.

Alice: "That was some pretty awesome taunting."

Conrad: "Why thank you."

Leonard: "Guys, company!"

Conrad: "Oh, there they were! I was wondering where he stashed all his mooks."

A fair few low-rank bandits poured in through the doors on the other sides of the rooms, all of them armed with melee weapons.

Ampersand: "Ooh, this oughta be entertaining!"

Of course, the demon was not one to miss out on a fight of such proportions. He did not, however, actively participate in it. First thing that happened was Alice shooting one of the goons in the head, killing him instantly. The rest charged en masse. In the ensuing chaos, several interesting facts were proven: Drake was ambidextrous, and quite capable of focusing on more than one thing when pressed, as evidenced by him tearing out the throat of one bandit while chopping down another. Conrad's armor was very well made, and he knew how to fight in armor, as was made obvious by the dozens of strikes glancing off of it, while his own mace struck with as much bone-shattering force as usual. Alice was a very agile and skilled fencer, which became obvious when she both dodged and counterattacked in one move. Leonard himself found that he was actually a pretty decent swordsman, and that Janus' sword was hideously sharp. With one powerful strike, it managed to cleave through an ordinary sword and the arm holding it, while still having enough momentum to deeply gash the chest of a second bandit who was unfortunate enough to stand in the way. No wonder it could actually harm Ampersand!

As the number of goons dwindled rapidly, Leonard was surprised to find himself completely uninjured. Fights against that many foes rarely went well, much less perfectly. Yet this time, even Drake managed to avoid injury. Leonard felt like something was amiss, but he didn't know what. His thinking was cut short, however, when one of the doors opened again, this time revealing a single large human figure. The figure stepped out into the light.

Figure: "Bravo, that was the meat. Now, I have a bone to pick with you!"

The figure turned out to be the same man that had been speaking to them before. He was very tall and muscular, almost as tall as Drake. That alone wouldn't do him much good against the draconian, but a quick look at him revealed that part of his head was made of metal, along with many other parts of his body. No Steamer technology could do that to a man and still keep him alive.

Conrad: "Bloody hell, you're even uglier than I thought!"

Figure: "Why YOU...!"

He made a beeline towards Conrad at a frightening speed, and knocked Conrad over with a single punch to the chest.

Figure: "Not so tough now, are you!?"

He approached Conrad, who was still on the ground. His short walk was interrupted by Drake's fist making a violent collision with the metallic side of his head. He staggered to the other side, but eventually managed to regain balance.

Drake: "If you want fight, I GIVE YOU FIGHT!"

Figure: "So be it, I will gladly become the first man to kill a draconian while unarmed!"

Leonard approached from behind, ready to strike, but was swatted aside by a harsh backhand.

Figure: "I'll get to you later!"

Once again, the figure charged right towards his target, which this time was Drake. However, Drake did see it coming, so he met the figure with a solid punch to the face. This didn't stop him, however, and he tackled Drake to the ground, then mounted him.

Figure: "Even you can't match up to me!"

He began punching Drake, hard. Leonard actually saw a tooth flying out of Drake's mouth, but after that, the draconian suddenly stirred up. He caught both of the figure's hands with his own, and threw him aside. Despite the pummeling, he got right back up on his feet at the same time as the figure. This time round, however, there was bloody murder in Drake's eyes. He stormed up to the figure, caught the very first punch, and swung him wildly overhead and down to the ground with a very loud crash. Drake was about to stomp on the figure's head, but the latter managed to roll away before the foot made contact, and got up quickly. Both sides wound up for a tremendous punch, and both of them clearly knew that they had underestimated their foe. They let their punches loose simultaneously, and struck each other simultaneously. Sparks flew from the figures head, and Drake's jaw got dislocated. However, it was the figure who flew to the ground. Drake staggered backwards, recovered, and merely smacked his jaw back in place. The figure began getting back up, but was clearly dazed from the force of Drake's punch. Before he could get up, Drake pounced upon him, and immediately delivered a furious barrage of punches, all of which audibly resulted in the figures head slamming into the floor. After a brutal final punch, the figure had stopped moving. His face was badly disfigured and bleeding from Drake's beatdown. Drake got off him, still scowling, and back up on his feet, fists still clenched.

Conrad: "Wow. Drake, you ok?"

Drake: "Ngh, yes. But I lose few teeth."

Conrad: "I saw that, holy crap. Just how hard did that guy hit you?"

Drake: "Not as hard as shaman, heh."

Conrad: "Holy crap."

At that moment, a familiar dark cloud appeared.

Ampersand: "Now if only you had said unholy crap, then this would be an even better time. And don't get any funny ideas, draconian, that guy's a wimp."

Leonard: "Ugh, great."

Alice: "But... Is he dead?"

Ampersand: "Dead? No, just out cold. VERY out cold. Which is pretty surprising, each and every one of those punches could have smeared your brains across the floor."

Alice: "So not dead. That's actually a good thing, for now."

Leonard: "But how did he NOT die from that?"

Ampersand: "Simple, dear lowly caveman! UTC tech."

Leonard: "UT what now?"

Ampersand: "You heard me. He's chock full of UTC technology, which is why he had any kind of chance to begin with. The UTC chaps call these guys cyborgs; part man, part robot. Since you have no fucking clue of what a cyborg OR robot actually is, you can just call them messed up metal freaks. And if you value your life more than what you let on, you'll be careful around them. It was pretty amusing to see the draconian get beaten around by someone who isn't me, though."

Leonard: "So wait, you're saying that these bandits have access to UTC technology?"

Ampersand: "Oh yes."

Conrad: "That's kind of a really big problem right there."

Ampersand: "Yeeeeeeeeees."

Leonard: "Now obviously, you're going to enjoy the ramifications of that, but us mortals have to stop whatever Erstrom is planning to do with it."

Ampersand: "Mayhaps. Either way results in carnage and a high probability for profound emotional trauma, so I don't care if you do something or not."

Leonard: "Ugh! Why couldn't it be one of those astral things instead of this demonic asshole!?"

Ampersand: "Because, mortal, the balance of good and evil is very delicate. You may not realize it, but one astral in the wrong place could trigger the next war of the gods, an event which would fuck over even the passage of time to such a degree that neither the war or reality will ever have existed. Supposedly, this reality came to be when the gods negotiated a ceasefire."

Leonard: "... I really, honestly don't believe a word of that."

Ampersand: "Good for you. Fifty-fifty percent chance of omniplanar time dissolution versus improving the lives of a few individuals, wanna gamble?"

Conrad: "Omniplanar time dissolution? That sounds bad."

Ampersand: "Of course, we had to think up a sufficiently scary term for it. It's a pretty meaningful one, really."

Conrad: "But can't the gods just like... NOT destroy everything?"

Ampersand: "Are you alive right now?"

Conrad: "Uhm, yes?"

Ampersand: "So they can. On the condition that their respective agendas are perfectly balanced all the time. An overweight of good would make the dark gods pissy, and vice versa. My being not-evil is all part of this."

Leonard: "That's... Worrying, to say the least."

Ampersand: "It is, actually. Omniplanar time dissolution involves me and my eternal life as well, so I have a VERY good reason to try upholding the ban. I like to see it as more of a challenge, though."

Leonard: "That's only very mildly calming. You're saying that the fate of reality itself depends on assholes like you doing what you're told?"

Ampersand: "More or less. You mortals usually find a balance biased towards good yourself, so it's fortunate that there are assholes like me to bring you down a notch, eh?"

Alice: "But that just leaves one glaring question: Why are you suddenly told to not be evil?"

Ampersand: "Food for thought! But seriously though, this world was standing out like a sore thumb because it was actually slightly biased towards evil. And for reasons completely incomprehensible to my mind, the gods decided that hey, let's make that abyssal demon less evil rather than sending one of those prissy astrals, surely that's a good idea! Needless to say, I don't approve, but little does it matter."

Alice: "So... You don't actually want to be here?"

Ampersand: "Not in this way, no. Beats sitting around and doing nothing in the abyssal plane, though."

Alice: "That kind of sucks."

Ampersand: "A mortal feigning sympathy for me?"

The demon burst out in a vile laughter.

Ampersand: "Oh by the absent mercy of the dark gods, that is one of the most hilarious things I've ever heard! The only thing that could possibly make it any funnier would be if the sympathy was genuine."

Alice looked sheepish.

Ampersand: "Mortal, I consider extreme torture, both mental and physical, a fun pastime, and the total extinction of humanity would only briefly sadden me because there'd be no humans left to torture. Then I'd turn my attention to other sapient beings. Sympathy is a funny thing to behold, but it is not something I share with you or anyone else. I am, by every definition of the word, a complete psychopath, a horrid mass-murderer and a grade A demonic asshole."

Alice frowned with wide eyes.

Ampersand: "That's more like it. I have to admit though, it's entertaining to watch you mortals recklessly endanger yourselves. And hey, look at that! Clanky the Angry Metal Man is waking up, now's your chance to endanger yourself again."

Sure enough, the figure on the ground was slowly beginning to move, obviously still very badly concussed by Drake's assault.

Conrad: "Now how the hell are we supposed to restrain this guy?"

Leonard: "Uhm... I don't know, actually."

Drake just silently walked over to the still-prone figure, flipped him over with a foot and pinned his arms behind his back with a knee.

Leonard: "Ok, that'll do nicely."

He crouched down near the figure's head.

Leonard: "Now, tell me who you are and where Erstrom is, and this could be done very quickly."

Figure: "Go die in a fire! I'm the only one who knows what you need to know, and YOU..."

He jerked against Drake's pin, but was unsuccessful.

Figure: "... Can't do anything of consequence to me without killing me!"

Leonard: "The draconian on your back begs to differ."

Figure: "He wants to kill me. If I die, you lose what little information you COULD have gotten."

Alice: "Allow me to state things in a manner that Leonard is too kind to do: If you don't talk right now, we'll have the draconian beat you to shit. If you don't talk after that, we'll leave you at the mercy of that guy."

Ampersand conveniently stepped into the figures view while Alice was gesturing at him. The figure gave a shocked look.

Figure: "Who and WHAT the hell is that!?"

Ampersand: "Me? I'm the guy who takes your worst nightmare, shits on it and shoves it down your throat."

The figure slammed his mouth shut and tightened his lips.

Ampersand: "And for the record, being left at my mercy is both very bad and includes having the necessary knowledge forcibly stripped from your mind. From what I've seen, it ain't a nice thing to experience. And that's just the beginning of it."

The figure now put on a skeptical look.

Figure: "Now why exactly should I believe that?"

Ampersand: "You'll find out soon enough."

Figure: "I still don't have ANYTHING to say to you!"

Conrad: "Drake, would you be so kind?"

Drake: "Yes."

He grabbed the figure's head, pulled it backwards and slammed its face into the floor.

Figure: "That all you got!?"

Drake: "Heh heh, no."

He then pressed the figure's head against the floor and rolled it side to side a few times.

Figure: "Try harder, I'm still breathing!"

Drake then grabbed one of the figure's arms and wrenched it to a very unpleasant angle, holding it there for a while. The figure groaned in pain. He didn't say anything further, however.

Ampersand: "He's resilient, the little blighter!"

Figure: "Little!? Why you... I'm going to crush you when I get free!"

Ampersand: "Are you now? Or are you just going to throw some feeble punches like you did to the draconian that's breaking your arm?"

Figure: "Grr!"

Ampersand: "Ooh he's so fearsome, the little guy!"

Figure: "SHUT UP!"

He began struggling wildly against Drake, but didn't manage to get loose.

Ampersand: "You can let him go if you want, he clearly thinks he's some kind of threat to me."

Drake scowled in Ampersand's direction, gave the figure a good punch in the noggin and got off him. As he got up, he was about to punch Drake back, but Ampersand snagged the hand he was about to punch with, and spun him around.

Ampersand: "Nope, no more draconian for you. It's me time!"

Figure: "I'll teach you to call me little!"

He immediately rushed at Ampersand, who merely dodged.

Ampersand: "Ah, got some deep underlying issues there, eh? I bet you got mocked as a child because you were small."

Another swing was dodged.

Ampersand: "And that's not the end of it, oh no! Even when you physically grew and asserted your false dominance, there's still that one part of you that even the women considered small."

Figure: "SHUT UP!"

Yet another swing and miss.

Conrad: "Did he just...?"

Leonard: "I think he did."

Conrad: "Hot damn."

Ampersand: "All those times in the bed. The greatest joyride of your life being stopped by a "YOU MUST BE THIS TALL" sign with accompanying laughter. Funny, isn't it?"

Figure: "RARGH!"

Ampersand: "So every time someone calls you little, it drills right into your core, letting out all those lovely emotions of the past. And not only that, you take it as an insult to your manhood. But sure, I guess it is kind of hard to build up a reputation as a big strong man when the ladies laugh at little Jimmy."

Figure: "FUCKING! GRAH! SHUT UP! DIE!"

Ampersand: "Fun thing is that you're getting angry because you don't want people to know that it's true. Ain't much that gives away a secret like a tantrum."

By now, the figure was just spouting raging nonsense while swinging wildly at Ampersand, who deftly avoided all blows.

Ampersand: "But I digress. I could have broken you while you were down. It's just so much more fun to see how much people think their rage matters."

After dodging a final blow, Ampersand slugged the figure right in the face with enough force to make him do half a backflip before landing on his stomach.

Ampersand: "Hah, I love it when that happens. Did you know? Your mother would be sooooo sad to see you like this."

He picked the figure up by the head.

Ampersand: "You've disappointed everyone you once loved. That's why you left them all. You couldn't handle the shame of it, so you ran away like a dirty little coward."

Figure: "Shut up..."

Ampersand: "You're quite pitiful, you know that? You're a broken shell of a man who feels the need to prove himself all the time. I bet you most people find you to be intolerable company. But just for once, you've actually proven yourself. You've proven to me how fragile you really are. Little good that metal skull does you when your ego is made of glass."

Figure: "Stop it!"

Ampersand: "What, am I digging too deep? That's a damn shame, for you. I'm not just your run-of-the-mill demon, you know. A hellion just kills you. Me? I BREAK you, then make you suffer until the notion of death seems like paradise. But the sweet release of death will never find you, because I will drag you to a place darker than the darkest corners of the most demented human imaginations, a place so dark that your very soul, the only part of you that's actually immortal here, will slowly drown and die out. There will be no rebirth, no resurrection, no second chance. Only darkness, and your new best friend, misery. And me? I will be laughing. Laughing at your eternal regret of refusing to say a couple of sentences, laughing at your eternal agony, laughing at YOU. And my laughter will be the last thing you ever hear, before fading into the void of nothingness. And then? You'll be gone. FOREVER."

Everyone stared in shocked silence.

Ampersand: "OR you could tell these guys what they want to hear, and then I will let you go. Consider that one for a second. Oh, and for the record, I know what part of you remains unmodified by metal, and I'm not referring to your probably absent brain. It will be the first target in case you feel uncooperative."

The figure immediately widened his eyes with an accompanying jaw drop. Ampersand reared his free hand backwards.

Ampersand: "Three seconds, starting now."

Figure: "I'll talk, I'LL TALK!"

Ampersand: "Aw, I was hoping you'd remain silent."

He let go of the figures head, who immediately took a few steps back.

Figures: "Who the fuck are you even!?"

Ampersand: "Ampersand, the Violator of Souls, abyssal demon in service of the dark gods."

The figure paled as much as it was possible for his partly metallic face to do.

Ampersand: "And YOU?"

Figure: "I-I'm... My name's..."

Ampersand: "Out with it, mortal! Not that I particularly care, but I believe it's common courtesy among you humans to introduce yourselves to each other."

Figure: "Benjamin."

Ampersand: "Called Big Ben among your FRIENDS, right?"

Benjamin: "Y-yes. How did you know that!?"

Ampersand: "Just about the most painfully obvious nickname ever. Then again, you don't look like someone capable of thinking up an actually good one, so I'll let that slide."

Benjamin's fists tensed up once again.

Benjamin: "Did you just call me dumb?"

Ampersand: "Oh no, not at all! I called you horridly unintelligent and EXCRUCIATINGLY ugly. Oh, and now that I'm at it, you're small too."

After hearing the last part, Benjamin rushed towards Ampersand and punched him squarely in the chest. The latter only budged very slightly.

Ampersand: "So you proved me right on the unintelligent part. Ugly and small are subjective, but unintelligent?"

He very quickly grabbed Benjamin by the neck with a vice-like grip, slammed him to the ground with tremendous force and held him there tightly. Benjamin was clearly dazed by the force of the impact.

Ampersand: "You are very positively, objectively and completely undeniably DUMB. Consider this: I am only attacking you physically right now. I could also do it magically and, perhaps most unpleasantly for you, mentally. The human mind is a fascinating thing, both in its vast capabilities, imagination... And fragility. Do you know how it feels like to have your mind invaded? To have it BROKEN forcibly, shattered into tiny little pieces that you couldn't ever hope to put back together in a form vaguely resembling the original? To have your thoughts slowly torn apart and destroyed, until the only thing left is the empty husk of your body, now serving as the prison of your shattered mind? It's not a pretty picture!"

Benjamin's face was locked into complete horror, while the rest of him was frantically struggling against Ampersand's arm against his neck.

Ampersand: "So unless you want to find out, I suggest that you first of all put your infantile anger management issues on the backburner, and secondly tell Leonard everything he wants to hear. Consider this your very last warning, because I am usually not this forgiving. One false move, and I WILL carry out my threats."

Leonard almost felt sorry for the guy. The thing preventing the sympathy was the savage assault of his friends. Ampersand let go of Benjamin's neck, and stepped backwards, his face now displaying a malicious grin rather than the usual "innocent" one.

Leonard: "Ok, so before you piss off that jackass even more, tell us where Erstrom is. What Ampersand can do to you is not something I'd wish upon anyone, so do yourself a favour."

Benjamin: "Can he really...?"

Leonard: "YES. I've felt it, and he was going nice on me. I don't think whatever fate he has in mind for you is going to be merciful, because I know how cruel this demon is. You'll see what I mean the moment you look outside this cave of yours."

Benjamin: "And what if this is just a bluff?"

Leonard: "... Are you kidding? Honest to the gods, are you kidding me?"

Benjamin: "No. Erstrom would have me tortured to death if I said anything."

Leonard rubbed his own face in exhasperation.

Leonard: "I can't believe what I'm hearing. This demon effortlessly pinned you to the ground with one arm, and also READ YOUR DAMN MIND."

Ampersand: "Mind reading? No, didn't do that there, but a little analyzing goes a long way in making people feel horrible. I'll happily prove my abilities if you desire."

Leonard: "Seriously, I find you to be a terrible person, but DO NOT take that demon lightly."

Benjamin: "Sure he's strong, but I've yet to feel anything supernatural going on in my mind."

Ampersand: "Right then, my patience is out, and so is your luck! You others might want to look away and/or close your ears now, because bad things are going to happen in one, two..."

He counted seconds with his fingers, and Leonard cursed under his breath with a lowered head. He really did mean it when he said he wouldn't wish such a fate upon anyone.

Ampersand: "... THREE!"

On the third second, Ampersand suddenly teleported behind Benjamin with a raised hand that emitted some kind of smoke, and before the latter could react, Ampersand clamped the smoking hand down on top of his head. Benjamin SCREAMED. Leonard had heard many agonized screams before, but never before one as pained and panicked as the one Benjamin just let out. He continued his panicked screaming while very desperately trying to pull Ampersand's hand off his head, but to no avail. His movement began slowing, and his face turned sheet white. Droplets of cold sweat had accumulated on his face, and were dripping down slowly. Then he stopped moving, and his screaming trailed off. Ampersand, now wearing his characteristic smile again, let him go, and he collapsed like a rag.

Leonard: "Damn it! Is he at least dead?"

Ampersand: "No."

Leonard: "WHAT!?"

Ampersand: "I was not kidding about attacking him mentally. At all. I gave him fair warning, and he persisted. And before you start yapping about morality and all that garbage, take one second to remember who and what I am. Unless you intervene, it'll probably be a day or two before he dies. Well, before his body dies of thirst, which is probably a most welcome thing to his mind right now."

Alice: "You're a fucking monster!"

She quickly walked over to Benjamin's limbless body, and fired a shot at a part of his head that wasn't covered in metal. However, the shot bounced off; apparently his skull was fully metallic, even below the skin.

Ampersand: "Complications for that mercy kill, eh?"

Without a word, Drake walked over to Benjamin's body, raised his axe high in the air, and brought it down on Benjamin's head with all his might, killing Big Ben off for good. Leonard could have sworn that he saw a very faint smile on Benjamin's lips just before Drake executed him, but it was impossible to see afterwards. Leonard lowered his head for a while.

Leonard: "... As much as I hate asking you anything, did you at least remember to get what we were after? That man died in extreme pain."

Ampersand: "Extreme pain in every sense of the word! But yes, I did. I'm cruel, not incompetent. And besides, why do you even care so much about him? He wanted to kill the lot of you."

Leonard: "Yes, but your actions were just harsh. And when I say I don't wish such a fate upon anyone, I mean it."

Ampersand: "Too bad. Now did you want that information or not?"

Leonard: "Nrgh. Yes, I did."

Ampersand: "Ok, get this. Erstrom is hiding in a cave..."

Leonard: "Yes?"

Ampersand: "... In a forest..."

Leonard: "Yes?"

Ampersand: "... Where Drake's tribe lives."

Everyone made big eyes, including Drake.

Drake: "What?"

Ampersand: "You heard me. There's a big bad bandit hiding in a cave near your tribesfolk. How you big lizards let him get in there is beyond me, but then again, I guess you are pretty dumb."

Conrad: "So... You're saying we have to go to the islands?"

Ampersand: "Yeeeeeees."

Conrad: "That sounds bad."

Ampersand: "For you, it is. For me, it's jolly good entertainment."

Drake: "I protect friends. But I NOT protect DEMON!"

Ampersand: "Hah, if anything, you should be protecting them from me."

Drake: "I not so sure about that. Shaman hit as hard as demon."

Ampersand: "Amusing, but no. Had I hit you as hard as I could, you would not be alive right now."

Drake growled in the manner that was getting characteristic of him.

Conrad: "Why would you even hold back?"

Ampersand: "Why would I not? Is that a particular concern of yours?"

Conrad: "Oh, err... No, I guess."

Ampersand: "You mortals don't ever mean that when you say it, do you? Rhetorical question, of course you don't. You don't want to answer awkward questions."

Conrad: "Well..."

Ampersand: "Oh quit all those pretenses, I know humanity better than you do."

Conrad: "I-"

Ampersand: "-Sincerely doubt that. Sure you do, everyone does. I have SEEN humanity evolve, all you lunkheads have to go by are some dusty old bones. I know how people will act, how they'll REact, and perhaps most importantly, I know what scares them, and what I'm referring to isn't myself, for once. But honestly? I scare you too."

Alice: "You can't speak for us, you know."

Ampersand: "Of course I can, especially when it involves fear. You, mortal, are the most pants-wettingly scared person among all of you. But you don't want to admit that, because it'd make you look weak and vulnerable next to others. But I'll spare you the mental breakdown, because you haven't overtly provoked me. Am I being quite clear enough?"

Alice assumed a shy and slightly embarrassed posture.

Alice: "Yes."

Ampersand: "Great! Now haul your lazy mortal asses out of here, I believe you have many archaic means of transportation to catch."

Conrad: "I don't even understand half of what you're saying, but yeah, we got what we came for."

Leonard: "Agreed. Let's get out before more bandits arrive."

Ampersand: "What bandits? You killed them all."

Leonard: "In self-defense."

Ampersand: "Keep telling yourself that."

Leonard: "Keep delaying us and you'll have to wait longer for entertainment."

Ampersand: "That, or you'll have to be my entertainment."

Conrad: "... Haulin' ass!"

Ampersand: "Very wise."

Leonard: "Also, remember to either get the hell out of sight or turn into a dog when near the town. The guards are already not too happy with me."

Ampersand: "Of course, I'm evil, not dumb. Not that it'd be particularly dumb for me to reveal myself, but enforcing a bad reputation on purpose is sadly considered an evil thing."

Leonard: "Hrm."

The very unlikely group went back out of the lair, encountering no further resistance. However, as they were about to leave the encampment, Leonard glanced at Janus' still lifeless body, and nodded silently in his honour.

Alice: "Wait."

Leonard: "What?"

Alice: "Doesn't Janus like... Need a proper burial? He doesn't deserve to be left in this hole."

Ampersand: "Oh by the viciously explosive wrath of the dark gods, are you STILL whinging about that guy?"

Alice: "He's a legend! Well, was..."

Ampersand: "Ugh. Well if you want to carry a dead body the several kilometers you need to walk, then fine by me, I'm no stranger to corpses. Just don't expect me to actually help with it."

Alice: "Oh come on, is it really that hard?"

Ampersand: "Hard? You misunderstand me, mortal. It's not hard, I just don't care."

Alice: "Yeah? Well, prove it to us, then."

Ampersand: "No."

Alice: "Why not?"

Ampersand: "Why should I?"

Alice: "Because I don't believe you."

Ampersand: "Really? Oh calamity, a mortal doesn't believe me! I don't think I can stand this tremendous affront to my person! I am very definitely going to do everything you asked me for! And then I'm going to turn all astral and stop bothering you forever!"

The demon suddenly quit the sarcastic drama and went very close to Alice.

Ampersand: "You and everything you stand for is unimportant to me. You know what happened to the last idiotic mortal who tried to con me?"

Alice: "I... Think I have an idea."

Ampersand: "WRONG. Benjamin got off easy, even if he HAD thirsted to death. Keep trying to trick me, and you'll find out the rest very soon."

Alice: "Ok, ok! No need to get all bloody murder on me!"

Ampersand: "Need? Heh heh, I don't NEED to do anything."

Leonard: "All right, get off her already. You've made it clear enough that you're not going to help."

Ampersand: "I have? Ain't a bloody second too soon that you get it. I swear, these mortals..."

Conrad: "Ok, so... Who's going to carry him?"

There was a long, awkward silence. All present humans had a deep respect for Janus, and didn't like the thought of dragging his dead body more than a few meters. Much to everyone elses relief, Drake stepped forward.

Drake: "I carry. I strongest among us."

Ampersand: "Not quite."

Drake: "I NOT consider demon among US."

Ampersand: "Better get used to it, draconian, because it ain't gonna change for a while."

Drake growled, and pointed a finger at Ampersand.

Drake: "It may soon!"

Ampersand: "Less ineffectual threatening, more carrying dead bodies, lizard."

After another growl, Drake went over to Janus' lifeless body, and picked him up in a surprisingly respectful manner. The humans nodded, and the group headed back towards town. Along the way, they heard some faint stomping through the woods, which seemed to come closer.

Leonard: "Hold up. What's that?"

Conrad: "What's what?"

Leonard: "That stomping. Can't you hear it?"

Conrad listened quietly.

Conrad: "Huh, there IS something out there, and it doesn't sound particularly small."

Alice: "I think it's coming this way."

Leonard: "Yeah, sounds like it. Wait, look, something's moving!"

Sure enough, some nearby bushes gave away the position of a fairly large being. However, this being wasn't something Leonard was expecting to see. What stepped out from the bushes was a large humanoid figure, covered in black scales. Another draconian. Drake seemed more surprised than anyone.

Drake: "Moientos!?"

Draconian: "Revadracke."

Drake practically shoved Janus' dead body into Conrad's arms (who nearly fell over), ran over to the other draconian and punched him full tilt in the face. The other draconian reacted about as much as you'd expect a human to do if he got hit by another human with similar force. Drake then awaited his turn as the other draconian recovered, after which a tremendous punch knocked him off his feet. Drake got back up on his feet shortly after, then they both made some kind of pseudo-laughter that was very specific to draconians.

Conrad: "You guys know each other?"

Drake: "Yes, this Moientos... Shaman."

Conrad, Leonard and Alice all took a few moments to study what exactly this shaman fellow was. Very tall, even taller than Drake, and also more muscular, covered in black scales, and nearly glowing green eye colour.

Conrad: "Hot damn. But might I ask, what are you doing here?"

Shaman: "I have been looking for you. The spirits told me to."

Leonard: "But why would they? I mean, I doubt you care a lot for us humans, and Drake can handle himself pretty nicely."

The shaman stood in silence for a moment.

Shaman: "Drake?"

Leonard: "Oh, err, yes, it's a nickname we came up with for Revadracke."

Shaman: "Hm, if he is fine with it, then so be it. Just know that names mean a lot for us."

Leonard: "Of course, we mean no disrespect. So might I ask, you name, what does it mean?"

The shaman glanced over to Ampersand, who hadn't even bothered shifting into a dog form.

Shaman: "Demon Ender. I got it when I killed a big demon when I was young."

Ampersand: "Was that supposed to be a threat? Because I can assure you, you're in over your head."

Shaman: "Do not test my patience, demon! The only reason you are not under my heel is because I have been watching."

Ampersand: "Quite eloquent for a lizard, aren't you?"

Shaman: "And YOU are an extremely bold demon."

Conrad: "Guys! How 'bout we don't kill each other as a first thing, and work together for a bit?"

Shaman: "Hrng. How you humans put up with that demon is beyond me."

Leonard: "Well, we don't. We just can't do anything about him, either."

Shaman: "So, you finally found something you are unable to destroy?"

Leonard: "Hey, not all of us are the destroyers of everything you make us out to be. Likewise have I noticed that you aren't all savage monsters that kill on sight."

Shaman: "Hm. This must be why Revadracke has befriended you."

Leonard: "He has proven himself a friend to me, so I really don't care WHAT he is."

Shaman: "Wise. But do you other humans think the same?"

Conrad: "Me? Yeah. I'm normally pretty damn scared of you guys, and quite frankly, you're scaring the shit out of me, but Drake's a nice guy."

Alice: "Well... I guess so, even though we had our... Disagreements."

Shaman: "So the spirits were speaking the truth, as is usual."

Leonard: "You sound surprised?"

Shaman: "Most humans do not react well to seeing us."

Leonard: "I see. Well, you'd be right on that, not everyone in town has been happy to see him."

Shaman: "If that is true, then they will not be happy to see me. Likewise will I not be happy to see THEM."

Conrad: "I see what you're on about, but you'd be surprised at how quickly people got kind of used to Drake wandering around. Then again, I suppose you are a fair bit more intimidating. And dangerous, if looks are anything to go by."

Ampersand: "So what, just because he's bigger and blacker than Drake, he's scarier and more dangerous?"

Conrad: "Pretty much, yes. It applies to you as well, you know."

Ampersand: "I suppose it does. Fancy that."

Shaman: "What I still do not understand is why this demon is so tame."

Ampersand: "Tame!? Ok, ignoring that little bit, it's because I'm banned from evildoing. I'd have thought the wise and powerful shaman would know such a thing."

Shaman: "I do not meddle in the affairs of DEMONS."

Ampersand: "Well, now you do. Surprise surprise!"

The shaman bared his teeth in a scowl that was FAR more menacing than what Drake usually produced.

Ampersand: "Hah, you're even quicker to anger than the blue one. Looks like this might be a fun stay after all!"

Moientos then waved one hand at the humans.

Shaman: "Stand back!"

They did so, and quickly.

Ampersand: "Ooh, is it reality time already?"

In a surprisingly fast move, the shaman had thrown a ferocious punch right into Ampersand's visage. The result surprised everyone else. Ampersand actually reeled significantly from the sheer force of that punch.

Ampersand: "Ouf, that hurt! That actually hurt! Can you believe that!?"

Shaman: "Yes."

Ampersand: "Funny. Brace yourself, mortal."

The demon then very quickly threw a very powerful punch of his own. Yet again to everyones surprise, Moientos just sidestepped around it to Ampersand's back, after which the large draconian grabbed Ampersand's head and neck, and twisted. Suddenly, Ampersand's head turned 180 degrees, still wearing the same smile.

Ampersand: "I hope you didn't expect it to be THAT easy."

What happened next was almost impossible to make heads or tails of, but a few seconds later, Ampersand, now with his head facing the right way, slammed the shaman face first into the ground with enough force to bury his head half-way into the dirt.

Ampersand: "You're good. Just not good enough, so let this be a painful lesson and/or dent in your ego."

The shaman got back up with little difficulty.

Shaman: "This is not over, demon!"

Ampersand: "I hope not, that was pretty fun. Almost as fun as killing that guy there."

He gestured towards Janus' dead body, which still displayed two bloody stab wounds.

Ampersand: "But let me break the sourness of reality to you. I am no mere demon. I am an abyssal demon, as in "you wish you just went to Hell instead" demon, or whatever you call the bloody place. What this means is that-"

Shaman: "Stop your talking, demon! I have no wish to exchange pleasantries with one such as you."

Ampersand: "I thought your pleasantries involved punching each other in the face."

Shaman: "Grr!"

Ampersand: "Better than human pleasantries, really. 'Oh Jimmy, would you perhaps like some FUCKING TEA to go with that FUCKING STALE BREAD you just pulled out of your FAT FUCKING ARSE?' I can't fathom how you could possibly enjoy such a supremely dull existence."

Conrad: "I bet there's a lot you can't fathom about humans."

Ampersand: "Nothing critical for me, so don't get all hopeful."

Conrad: "I can always hope that you'll suddenly up and die, you know."

Ampersand: "So it seems. But hey, keep doing that, I love seeing hope falter!"

Conrad: "You insufferable..."

Ampersand and Conrad kept exchanging pointy remarks, while Moientos turned his attention to Drake.

Shaman: "Revadracke."

Drake: "Soe?"

What followed was a fairly long conversation in the draconians' native language, which made absolutely no sense in Leonard's ears. It was obvious that Drake was far more fluent in his native tongue than in the human language. Leonard didn't dare interrupting them to ask what they were talking about, because Drake was clearly happy to see a familiar face again, and the shaman was just flat out too intimidating to be even remotely impolite to. After a while, they finished up.

Conrad: "So... Anything we need to know?"

Shaman: "Revadracke has told me what he knows. This... Janus, he got killed by the demon?"

Leonard: "Yes, sadly."

Shaman: "His spirit is strong. It follows you."

Leonard: "What?"

Shaman: "I said his spirit is following you, or something you are carrying. It does not matter what he is following, he is content."

Leonard: "... He is?"

Shaman: "Yes."

Leonard: "That's... Relieving to hear. So I haven't wronged him by keeping this sword."

The shaman stood motionless for a few seconds, as if listening for something.

Shaman: "He says the sword is meant for you."

Leonard: "... It is? But why?"

Once again, Moientos stood still for a short while.

Shaman: "He does not know why, only that it is."

Leonard: "All right. Well, thanks for taking that burden off my mind."

Shaman: "You are welcome. I do not care much for humans, but maybe that can change."

Leonard: "I hope so, there's a lot we can offer each other."

Shaman: "Yes, there is."

Leonard: "It won't be a fast process though, many people are still scared of draconians."

Shaman: "I know. But there is a thing I do not understand. If you are scared, then why do you not behave peacefully?"

Leonard: "Well, ignoring the fact that we're having a polite conversation, people are frightened for their lives. Any one of you could easily kill a human, and people fear that they will get killed if they approach you, so they go in a wide circle around you. They don't see you as the intelligent individuals that you are, but rather as dangerous and aggressive monsters. Until it gets proven otherwise... I think that view will remain. Kind of like how you see us as a bunch of unpredictable and destructive invaders, I guess."

Shaman: "Hm. I guess that makes sense."

Leonard: "Trust me, what you've seen on the islands is some of the worst shit that we have to offer, and I've personally seen THÉ worst, but we have an equally prominent good side. Us humans are far too diverse to put into a single box. I mean, I know of at least one other person who'd be positively excited to see you."

Shaman: "You do?"

Leonard: "Yes. I'd love to show you the prettier side of humanity, but... It's going to be pretty hard to do so."

Shaman: "Because I am scary?"

Leonard: "Exactly. It's difficult enough for people to get used to Drake, so they might just flat out run if they saw you. And lynch me."

Shaman: "Lynch you? Why?"

Leonard: "Because many people dislike me for bringing Drake into the town. If you showed up all of a sudden, they'd throw all kinds of wrong accusations at me. It's not that I don't want you around, far from it. It's just that other people are..."

Conrad: "Intolerant assholes, that's what. But they really need to learn that despite your uhh... Different manners and looks, you're not evil. I think. I mean, we're the ones who started the animosity."

Shaman: "We are not evil, we just want to live good lives. That is not easy when your home is suddenly invaded."

Leonard: "I know, that's also partly why I think that whole war was a great big mistake. I mean, how the hell did they think ANYONE would react if someone encroached upon their homes and started killing them? That goes for draconians, canids, bearmen and what not. They way they tell the story, it's the native beastmen that are the bad guys."

Conrad: "I've personally come to the conclusion that superior officers don't care much about the effects of our actions upon others. It's possible that they didn't even see you as others, but as mere animals."

Shaman: "Hrm. I hope that humans are not all like that."

Conrad: "We're not, as you can see. Drake has proven to me that you don't have to be human to be nice."

Shaman: "That is good."

Conrad: "It is. Tell you what, if you want, I can take you into the town under my responsibility. I don't think people are quite as likely to act tough in front of me as they are in front of Leonard."

Shaman: "No, but thank you. I am not as calm as Revadracke, I may end up killing someone. I hear you take killing very badly."

Conrad: "That largely depends on who you kill, but all right, fair point. I guess most people would respond pretty negatively, anyways. But Drake did tell you that we're going to the islands soon, right?"

Shaman: "Yes, he did."

Conrad: "So... Can you accompany us there?"

Shaman: "Happily. Unwelcome things need to be... Thrown out."

He pounded his massive fists together.

Conrad: "Hah, awesome. You're a most welcome ally in this ordeal. Actually, you'd be a welcome ally anywhere, because I'd hate to be on the wrong side of you."

Shaman: "Very wise. Hm, wait..."

The large draconian once again stood motionless, as if listening for something. He wasn't listening for spirits this time, however.

Shaman: "I think there is a fight coming."

Alice: "What makes you say that?"

Shaman: "Listen."

Everyone listened carefully, though Ampersand did it in a mocking and exaggerated manner. Sure enough, some faint thumping could be heard in the background, approaching. It didn't sound entirely different from when the shaman was approaching, but this time, there was more than one thing making sounds.

Alice: "Uhm, you didn't bring more of your kind, did you?"

Shaman: "No."

Alice: "Then I really, really don't like the sound of that."

Conrad: "Sounds like trouble, all right."

Ampersand: "And yet the mortals remain stationary, rather than running for their lives. This I gotta see!"

Conrad: "How 'bout helping us instead?"

Ampersand: "We'll see about that."

Leonard: "Ready up, guys. Here they come."

As the thumping grew louder, it was clear that it was actually heavy footsteps. Not long after, Leonard spotted a glowing red light in between the trees, moving up and down to the rhythm of the footsteps. Then another red light. And another. Soon after, three large, partly robotic figures stepped into full view.

Conrad: "Oh crap."

Shaman: "What is this? Stupid metal men daring to challenge me!?"

The three cyborgs briefly paused upon spotting Moientos. They did not, however, waste any time with conversation, but rather attacked immediately. Drake and the shaman didn't even miss a beat, and engaged the first two cyborgs in vicious brawls. Drake took some hits and gave some hits, generally holding his own, while Moientos didn't seem particularly troubled by the other cyborg, even though their strength was comparable to draconians. He had clamped his left hand in a vice-like grip around the cyborgs neck, and was giving the cyborg the kind of glare that suggested an imminent and extremely violent end to his life. Leonard didn't get to see the rest of it, however, because the third cyborg had managed to get close enough to grab HIS neck, and much to his dismay, that of Alice as well. The crushing grip of the cyborgs hand made breathing impossible, and despite his feverish struggles, he began feeling rather faint.

Cyborg: "Erstrom has had enough of you. Now is the time that you DIE! But before you go, your girl dies."

Just as Leonard was about to black out, the sound of something hard striking a metal dome with tremendous force was heard. The grip loosened around his and Alice's neck. Another smash was heard, and they were dropped.

Conrad: "Like hell she does!"

He raised his mace for a third time, and before the cyborg could realize what was going on, he smashed it squarely in the face, making it stagger backwards. Leonard gasped for air, being on his knees, and looked up at Conrad. He noticed that Conrad wasn't wearing his usual jolly face, but rather appeared to be pretty damn pissed.

Cyborg: "You foolish...!"

Conrad: "No, YOU foolish fuckwad!"

He ran over and clocked the cyborg yet again, the latter being too dazed to defend himself properly.

Conrad: "You tried to kill my best friend..."

Another vicious smash.

Conrad: "You've made the biggest goddamn mistake..."

A fifth smash connected with the cyborgs dome, and sparks flew.

Conrad: "You putrid..."

Yet another tremendous blow.

Conrad: "Cockgobbling..."

Smashed again, which knocked the cyborg to the ground.

Conrad: "Dickshitting, shitfaced, USELESS MOTHERFUCKER! JUST FUCKING DIE!"

Every word was punctuated by a particularly vicious blow, with the final one making the cyborg completely motionless. Conrad loomed over the dead cyborg, then turned his attention towards Leonard and Alice, both of whom seemed rather shocked at his sudden bout of extreme violence.

Conrad: "You two ok!?"

Leonard: "Uhm, yes... Yes. Are you?"

Conrad: "What? He pissed me off. Like hell if I'm going to let such a turd kill you."

Leonard: "Thanks, man. But what about..."

He looked over to the two draconians, both of which had established an advantage over their partly robotic foes. Namely, Drake was pummelling the living daylights out of his cyborg, and the shaman had grabbed the other by the leg and was viciously smashing him against every available surface, felling some smaller trees in the process.

Conrad: "What, them? They're fine. I think they're having fun, actually."

Alice: "... You don't say."

Leonard: "Right, but what's up, Conrad? I've never seen you like that before."

Conrad: "Eh, one time has to be the first. You're acting like you've never seen an angry man before."

Leonard: "I suppose I'm just not used to seeing you angry like that."

Conrad: "No, thank goodness for that. If you're wondering WHY I got angry, I recall that you also get pretty pissy if your friends are threatened by some stupid asshole."

Leonard: "Good point."

A cyborg flew through the air, landing with a mighty thud, after which the shaman stepped up to the other three.

Shaman: "Are you ok?"

Leonard: "Yeah, thanks for asking. Conrad saved me, again."

Conrad: "Again? Psh, that's what friends are for!"

Shaman: "Good. I am sorry I could not help you, but that metal man was pretty hard to kill."

Leonard: "It's fine, we all survived."

Ampersand: "Fine!? How is it fine if you almost die because the big lizard is having too much fun beating up one silly cyborg?"

Leonard: "He was occupied, and I don't want others to endanger themselves for my sake. But speaking of which, where were YOU during all this?"

Ampersand: "On the front rows. Good show!"

Leonard: "You were just WATCHING?"

Ampersand: "Of course! You have that thing there..."

He gestured towards Moientos, who scowled. Meanwhile, Drake was joining back up with the group, having pummelled the last cyborg to death.

Ampersand: "I don't know if you noticed just how badly he beat up that cyborg."

Leonard: "Uhh, no, I was busy being choked to death."

Ampersand: "Aw, that's too bad. As much as I enjoy mocking draconians, I have to admit that this guy's pretty good at destroying people."

Conrad: "A compliment from YOU? Now I've heard everything."

Ampersand: "Not so much a compliment as a fact. Does that guy there look very healthy to you?"

He pointed at the utterly thrashed cyborg.

Conrad: "Nope."

Ampersand: "Now compare to the guy YOU flipped out on."

They looked at said cyborg. Aside from the human parts of his face being badly damaged from the repeated mace strikes, everything else was fairly intact, barring some dents to the metallic skull.

Ampersand: "You only made his brain shut down. That's objectively pretty feeble."

Conrad: "Well, key difference being that I'm only human."

Ampersand: "And "only" is the correct term. Physically inferior to draconians in almost every way except potential agility, though that's not something you do a lot in."

Conrad: "I'm the fat guy, of course I'm not agile. That'd be Alice's department."

Ampersand: "Relatively speaking. But the little curious imp inside me is wondering: Why exactly are you taking such an encounter to lightly?"

Leonard: "I guess we're kind of getting used to ambushes and nasty surprises, even if it's involuntary."

Ampersand: "Oh right, you spent some time in the army. Fun times, I presume?"

He gave a rather stinging malicious smirk. It was very clear that the demon knew every detail about Leonard's trauma.

Leonard: "No. The only good thing that came out of that time was my friendship with Conrad."

Conrad: "D'aww."

Ampersand: "BLECH. Such a HEARTWARMING notion, how very distasteful!"

Leonard: "Of course, but you're a jerkass."

Ampersand: "Better than an omnicidal psychopath, don't you think?"

Leonard: "But you are one."

Ampersand: "Not quite omnicidal, dear stupid mortal! See, if all humans died..."

Leonard: "... There would be nobody left to torment, I get it."

Ampersand: "Fantastic. I am a deranged psychopath by human definitions, of course, but I'm pretty normal in as much as an abyssal demon can be normal."

Leonard: "I am NOT comforted by that."

Ampersand: "Whew. If you were, I might have had to hurt someone you love to prove my point."

Leonard: "Let's just not go there, ok? Nobody wins anything."

Ampersand: "Actually, I get my giggles that way."

Leonard: "Yeah, but I bet you'd also get your giggles out of raising someones dead relatives from the dead and have them brutally murder that person."

Ampersand: "In my defense, it was pretty fun back when they allowed me to raise the dead."

Alice: "They did what now?"

Ampersand: "Being an abyssal comes with perks, you know. I kinda sorta may have made some planets uninhabitable because the dead won't stay dead. Then they give me all sorts of nonsense about total extinction of life being reserved for the overlords, after which they take my "make your dead guys kill you" powers away. I suppose they have a point, it did get pretty boring on those worlds, though it was fun watching the last few humans kill themselves in anguish and sorrow. Probably the most grief I have ever caused any single person, and I've caused a LOT."

Leonard: "I really didn't-"

Ampersand: "Can you imagine it? Being the very last living thing on the planet, with every single other being having no other desire than to end your life, including your late loved ones. You're out of food, out of options, and best of all, out of hope. There is nothing you can do to survive, and with you, the human race dies. And once all the undeath fades, the only thing that remains is... Death. And a barren planet, no longer capable of supporting any life, ever. So I effectively killed the planet too, which is pretty cool."

There was a long, awkward silence.

Conrad: "... Well, that leaves a sour taste in my mouth."

Drake: "What is planet?"

Ampersand: "A gigantic buzzkill, courtesy of the resident idiot lizard! Breaking news, this world is a planet. A huge ball of dirt and rock, sometimes with a sprinkling of stupid mortal life, like you."

Conrad: "Don't forget the occasional singular immortal asshole."

Ampersand: "I'm not from around here, so I don't count. Unless you WANT me to stay..."

All present humanoids shouted "NO" in tandem.

Ampersand: "Great! I don't want to exchange pleasantries with you for a single second longer than I have to, either."

Leonard: "So you're only here because you have to?"

Ampersand: "Yes."

Leonard: "Can't you just like... Not obey that and get the hell away from me?"

Ampersand: "Nope, my superiors are far more dangerous than yours were. When an overlord talks, you bloody listen, because only the dark gods can put that guy down. It's not as simple as just tackling and choking if you disagree. They can get rather creative with their punishments, and they pose a very real threat to the existence of ANY lower demon. Did you know? I once saw one of them play genie. Some stupid mortal wished to be undying, to be really hot and to be tough as rock. He got the undying body, all right... He also got submerged in a magma chamber, providing both hotness and subsequently toughness, when the magma that filled every hole in his body cooled down and solidified. Petrification is for chumps, this guy's practically fused to the bedrock by now. And guess what? He's still alive. He'd be screaming too, if his lungs weren't full of rock. I'm a demon, and I think that's pretty cruel. I mean, at least I kill you EVENTUALLY."

Alice: "... Why do such things even exist? Why did he even have to get such an unnecessarily cruel punishment?"

Ampersand: "Balance of alignments, mortal! Also, he annoyed an overlord. That's like sticking your head into a lions mouth and telling it to bite, except that this lion will keep chewing on your face forever and you won't ever die from it."

Alice: "Annoyed it? How?"

Ampersand: "By asking too many bloody stupid questions."

Alice frowned.

Ampersand: "You'd be surprised at how easily they get annoyed. Not to mention that like me, they're amused by the suffering of mortals. And with them being as powerful as they are..."

Alice: "Crap."

Ampersand: "Quite. It's too bad I don't see them in action more often though, because it's GLORIOUS."

Leonard: "All right, all right, enough abyssal pleasantries now. Janus needs a proper burial, and we need to tell Stilton about what we've learned."

Ampersand: "And here I was just getting started..."

And without even needing to be told, Ampersand shifted into the dog form he was almost getting accustomed to. Leonard briefly stared in mild surprise.

Ampersand: "What? I'm an asshole, not a mortal idiot."

Leonard: "Hrm. But anyways, who's...?"

Drake: "Let me."

He went over and picked up Janus' body again.

Leonard: "All right, thanks. Let's go, then."

They walked in silence, perhaps because it was rather uncomfortable to be around a dead legend. Along the way, they encountered nobody, even as they walked along the path. Leonard enjoyed the silence a bit, even though it was a pretty awkward one. As they got close to the town, the shaman suddenly stopped.

Conrad: "What's up?"

Shaman: "This is as close as I am going. They will not trust me."

Conrad: "How do you know that?"

Shaman: "If they barely trust Revadracke, then they will not trust me at all. Then there will be conflict."

Conrad: "Nonsense, if anything, you're the one who can put your kin in a better light! And besides, if Erstrom decides to go all out, you're one of the only ones here who can readily take on one of those metal dudes. Nothing says friendship better than saving someone's life, you know."

Shaman: "I suppose that is a good point. But if someone attacks..."

Conrad: "By the gods, if someone attacks you then that someone is too dumb to live. People are already giving Drake a wide berth, so the only thing you have to worry about is a bunch of scared looks."

Leonard: "But... With all due respect to our friends here, won't people be after my head?"

Conrad: "Nah, this one's on me. If they want to run me out of town for showing a bit of goodwill, then fine, I hope they manage without a weaponsmith. It's about bloody time that people realize that beastmen aren't monsters, and we're starting out with draconians."

Leonard: "Ok then, I hope this works."

Conrad: "Ditto."

They then continued towards the town gate, humans in front. As they got close enough for the guards to notice the second draconian, they both immediately pointed their spears towards the group.

Guard: "Halt! What is... THAT thing doing here!?"

Conrad: "What, me? I live here."

Guard: "No no, the black draconian! I've seen the blue one before, but..."

Conrad: "Oh, you're nervous about him? No bloody wonder, the guy's terrifying. But he's also peaceful."

Guard: "And how can you know that?"

Conrad: "Well, we're all still alive, aren't we?"

Guard: "I guess we are, but what if he gets angry?"

Conrad: "Same thing as when some large dude gets angry, really. I mean, you can get angry too, and you're armed."

Guard: "Yes, but I'm not going to kill people because of it."

Conrad: "Who says that guy is?"

Guard: "Well... He's a draconian!"

Conrad: "So?"

Guard: "He's dangerous!"

Conrad: "And I'm not?"

Guard: "Well..."

Conrad: "I'm a large man covered in plate armor and armed with a mace. I can assure you that I could kill a lot of people if I were to go on a murder spree. However, I'm not going to do that, because I'm not a monster. Same thing goes for the draconians, they only attack you if you piss them off."

Guard: "What's your point?"

Conrad: "Show some goodwill, dammit! Draconians aren't monsters, they're intelligent beings like you and me! These two guys wouldn't gain anything from a killing spree, they'd only get their own kin alienated even further. Ask yourself this: Would you be interested in going right into a draconian tribe and start killing left and right, if you could?"

Guard: "Well... No..."

Conrad: "There you have it. They're far from home, and they both know that humanity can be a nightmarish opponent to face. Why the distrust?"

Guard: "I'm just trying to keep my hometown safe, man!"

This time, Conrad stood in silence for a moment.